tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37512156945746951262024-03-13T09:19:00.475-07:00Coloured skinny jeans make everyone look fat.Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-56397439499168481642007-06-24T12:33:00.001-07:002007-06-25T04:00:33.706-07:00FOO FOO YIK YIK<span style="font-family:courier new;">I know, I know. You missed us, right?<br />No? Fuck, you, then. Here’s a list anyway.</span><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">1. The groupie is a dying breed. The usual image associated with her – think an An<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/Rn7IUMs6OoI/AAAAAAAAAEI/pnsV8RpOgtk/s1600-h/List+with+dynasty.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5079717679053027970" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/Rn7IUMs6OoI/AAAAAAAAAEI/pnsV8RpOgtk/s320/List+with+dynasty.jpg" border="0" /></a>ita Pallenberg type in wafting silk on a four-poster bed in Morocco somewhere, preferably sandwiched between at least two of the Rolling Stones – floats back into Topshop ever now and again, but what of the slick, red-lipped Roxy Music girl with the flawless tan and lethal nails? If you’re going to be inspired by a trophy, you might as well make it a highly polished one. Shagging a rockstar is, of course, optional<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">2. Musician and performance artist Dynasty Handbag is the perfect example of the fashion phrase “the beautiful ugly”, in the sense that you feel she’d be quite attractive if she weren’t gurning wildly all the time. There’s something about wild hair and smudged lipstick which calls to mind the kind slightly damaged girl who Vice magazine are talking about when they hint at some indie slag being “fucked up” but “probably good for a poke” or something similar in the Dos and Don’ts. This, however, is the real deal.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Courier New;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">3. It’s allegedly summer, a time when a young girl’s fancies turn to the idea of bright blonde tresses. However, if you are brunette, it’s worth remembering that you will have to bleach in stages ,and therefore will probably be known as “Carrot top” amongst your nearest and dearest for a week or so. Just letting you know.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">4. Like most of you I saw CSS at Glastonbury on the good old BBC yesterday. Teenage yearnings to wear ridiculous spandex catsuits were heard bursting all over Britain when Lovefoxxxxxxxx (no, I don’t know how many sodding “x”s there are) clambered about near the stage looking like a number of pigs wrestling under a Klaxon’s jacket.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">5. I find myself yearning for a fox stole. With at least one head. Maybe some tails. Probably this makes me a bit of a psycho.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">6. Sunray pleats are popular at the moment, but generally give the wearer more lumps than are anatomically correct. In addition to this, in grey or navy they give the impression of “Skool Disco” fancy dress. Avoid.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">7. According to “The Karl Lagerfeld Diet”, smoking cigarettes burns 160 calories a packet. Sure, that makes me feel a tiny bit better about the tar.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">8. If you think a pair of your shoes needs re-heeling, do it now. Do not do as I have done and run all of them ragged until you are left with what can only be described as “shit shoes”. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">9. I understand that you’re excited that Christian Joy has done a concession for Topshop, because you really like Karen O and so on and so on but just look at yourself for a moment. Imagine that in a sack with a boat printed on it. Karen O you ain’t, sister. Ain’t none of us Karen O.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">10. Alright, it’s true. Everyone looks a twat in white wayfarers. But the black ones are universally flattering, if a little Michael J Fox. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;"><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/URksQWlUegU"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/URksQWlUegU" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object><br /><br /></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;"><i><b>Images:</b> Dynasty Handbag; Get out your Piz Buin, it’s the Roxy Music groupies; You would just look stupid with top hats screenprinted on your tits, wouldn’t you?; Fur, especially with a face left on it, is wrong, and utterly, utterly creepy (photograph, incidentally, by Katka Worley, LCC B.A. photography exhibition). </i></span><br /><em><span style="font-family:Courier New;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="font-family:Courier New;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="font-family:Courier New;"><b>Video:</b>Dynasty Handbag - Break Up Day</span></em>Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-84644656089112095542007-06-11T02:33:00.000-07:002007-06-11T02:37:04.070-07:00SLOGAN IN THE STYLE OF HENRY HOLLAND<span style="font-family:courier new;">Because I am bitter about the fact I missed out on tickets to friday’s “Fashion In Motion” show at the V&A, I have included an old Gareth Pugh video instead of images in this post. British Vogue says that “His genius is undeniable”, don’tcha know?<br /><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_4ygrWJ0HU0"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_4ygrWJ0HU0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object><br /><br />1.What do you call a man who wears sandals in summer? You don’t call him, and you give him a fake number when he asks for yours. I don’t care how hot it is outside or whether Vogue Hommes International told you it was “so now”, metrosexuals, I do not need to see your hairy toes. Suffer in plimsoled silence.<br /><br />2.If you are a woman and you wear a polo shirt, you look like a frumpy Sloane Ranger just about to pop her collar for that extra edge of sass. If you are a man, you do not look like a mod, even if it is by Fred Perry. You look like Preston from The Ordinary Boys.<br /><br />3.Don’t throw out your cigarette packets. Save them and use them to spell out a rude word on your bedroom wall. Gaffa tape is so passé.<br /><br />4.The Horrors may have ruined leather jackets for us all. A couple of days ago I went out in one wearing an all black ensemble and a cockney bloke bellowed “YOU’RE FROM SAAHFEND, INTCHA?” at me. Thankyou, Faris Rotter.<br /><br />5.So few people look good in a trilby. Even fewer look good in a porkpie hat. If, by some miracle, you are one of those lucky individuals, never take it off.<br /><br />6.Generally speaking, the time for huge novelty pendants is over. Throw out your seahorses, birds and (worst of all) hearts “toot sweet”.<br /><br />7.I read an article recently which claimed that, as a woman, wearing tight vests marked you out as being stuck in the past. Not strictly true. As well as being useful with all things high or paper-bag waisted, if you have the right kind of figure they mark you out as the kind of woman that would make a wolf’s eyes pop out in a Tex Avery cartoon instead.<br /><br />8.Snap out of it, Hedi; Pete Doherty is not a style icon. He is just a very, very lucky junkie with one or two nice coats.<br /><br />9. If you are sick of your clothes and you have a thin boyfriend, offload them onto him; as I type this I am cutting the flouncy bits off a white linen kaftan in a vain attempt to make it more “masculine”. It feels almost like giving to charity and creates a lot more space in the wardrobe, although admittedly that leopard miniskirt you haven’t worn for six months may be better suited to ebay.<br /><br />10.Speaking of kaftans, if you are considering buying from Kate Moss’ summer collection, I suggest the “Guatamalan kaftan” in black, which came to me in the post this morning. Despite being heavily embellished it’s soft, very chic and - shockingly – not cut like a tourniquet over the tits. </span>Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-70787162635444565942007-06-06T13:50:00.000-07:002007-06-11T02:38:13.401-07:00Sorry for the meagre blogging<span style="font-family:courier new;">from me, i would blab on about what thrilling things i have been doing, but in truth i have been spending my time lurking about in woods acting as a photography assistant to lola and working in a shitty high street shoe chain.<br /><br />In this post I'd like to draw your attention to Tracyanne Campbell from the Glasgow based band Camera Obscura. Not only do I think her music is pretty neat, but i think her clothes are pretty hot too. Bowing to the trend, I'll use the format of a list.<br /><br />p.s. in the group pictures, Tracyanne is the one with darker hair.<br /><br />1. Tracyanne has a sharp, blunt haircut. This enables her to wear more feminine clothes without succumbing to twee, and this is something which at times i tread the line of myself. Cutesy she ain't.<br /><br /></span><a href="http://tinypic.com" target="_blank"><span style="font-family:courier new;"><img alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic" src="http://i10.tinypic.com/4xwcqdh.jpg" border="0" /></span></a><span style="font-family:courier new;"><br /><br />2. She has a penchant for vintage dresses, but not the cliche kind, but the type your gran might actually have worn. Somehow, with her bob, she looks 'ugly but in a good way'. I know what I'm talking about, look at the pictures, yeah?<br /><br /></span><a href="http://tinypic.com" target="_blank"><span style="font-family:courier new;"><img alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic" src="http://i12.tinypic.com/54dnul4.jpg" border="0" /></span></a><span style="font-family:courier new;"><br /><br />3. She sometimes wears boyish clothes, or actual mens clothes, and I love that. Men's tee shirts are always a better fit, mens jeans and chinos look cute in an "I just slung these on because I found them on the floor, but i still look hot" way. And breton t shirts should be a wardrobe staple for days when you want to channel someone hot and french, be it lou dillon or edith piaf.<br /><br /></span><a href="http://tinypic.com" target="_blank"><span style="font-family:courier new;"><img alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic" src="http://i16.tinypic.com/4orafqc.jpg" border="0" /></span></a><span style="font-family:courier new;"><br /><br /><strong>Again, this is by Molly.</strong></span>Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-5923804800993219302007-05-31T07:22:00.000-07:002007-05-31T07:29:01.581-07:00LISTHAY LOHAN<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/Rl7apor6pyI/AAAAAAAAADg/RtOuhZmXyzo/s1600-h/List+lohan.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070730639296866082" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/Rl7apor6pyI/AAAAAAAAADg/RtOuhZmXyzo/s320/List+lohan.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">1.One or two lucky men can go shirtless in the summer and look like a 70s rock icon holidaying in Marrakech. The rest of you will doubtless look like builders from Peckham.<br /><br />2.Natural fibres for a bag are fantastic when you’re not really into chavvy Fendi knockoffs and you’re not exactly working on a Marc Jacobs budget. You can get a Hessian tote with leather handles for about five quid, and no-one is really sure whether you’re a wealthy minimalist or your sole income is five hours a week at Sainsburys and whatever your Nan sends in your birthday card.<br /><br />3.I sincerely hope no-one is still shopping in the “Young Trend” section of H&M anymore, as the only “trend” I can discern is “things I bought in Tesco when I was eight”.<br /><br />4.Do not be sucked in by a ridiculous, unwearable catwalk trend unless you are actually a model. The other day I caught myself looking thoughtfully at those pristine-white nursing clogs so favoured by the over-65s. Thankyou, Viktor and Rolf.<br /><br />5.A sharp indigo is the only acceptable colour for blue jeans, unless they have a particularly 70s cut which lends itself to a faded wash. The bootcut is so unfashionable that someone needs to bring it back, as while with heels it looks a little “mum’s night out” it looks great forming a puddle of denim around a flat ballet pump. Personally, I’m not a blue jeans girl.<br /><br />6.Glossy PVC – especially in a crinkled finish – is set to be everywhere when the weather gets colder, but wear it as a jacket or trench only for fear of looking like Trent sodding Reznor from Nine Inch Nails and suggesting to everyone who survived the 90s that you want to “fuck them like an animal”.<br /><br />7.Large designer logos – preferably fake as a wedding cake – are the Lindsay Lohan of the accessory world, both stylish and fun in incredibly small doses because they’re so unashamedly trashy.<br /><br />8.I wore white linen trousers last night in an attempt to get over my fear of the devil’s summer fabric, and my friend Gabriel chirruped “My mum has some of those”. Try not to be put off by such cutting remarks – if someone’s mother has something and you still think it’s relevant you can always bullshit your way into calling it a “classic”.<br /><br />9.If you are bored with women’s high-street clothing, move onto menswear. Although normally I would be scathing about Topman, I have just discovered the delights of their button-up baseball t-shirt. Undone to reveal the collarbones and sheer enough to show the ghost of a bra or nipple, it looks terrific hanging off a manorexic frame or a slender female one alike.<br /><br />10.Oh I don’t know. Handbags and that.<br /><br /><br /><i><b>Images:</b>Catwalk fashion that might look a wee bit silly in the supermarket; Lindsay Lohan –she actually <b>does</b> want to fuck you like an animal; Pharrell and some label-heavy Vuitton bags (I ran out of things to search on google image)</i></span>Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-87626662159757677032007-05-29T08:55:00.000-07:002007-05-29T09:04:49.102-07:00OH MY GOSH<span style="font-family:courier new;">Having realised that the last entry was uncharacteristically serious I have deleted it in favour of some more of the kind of unstructured fluff that people might actually read. You might have noticed that I sometimes publish entries and then later remove them on a whim; get used to it, shitcorpse. To the best of my knowledge Molly has never deleted one of her entries, so you can count on her not to be a prima donna – I will continue to churn out my worthless and unfounded opinions and delete them with a well-placed curse when I please. Today the ubiquitous list is about four people who influence the way I dress. Enjoy it while it’s there.<br /><br /></span><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RlxNK1FbR-I/AAAAAAAAADA/N1q61iEeSdY/s1600-h/Karl.jpg"><span style="font-family:courier new;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070012128956205026" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 222px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px" height="293" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RlxNK1FbR-I/AAAAAAAAADA/N1q61iEeSdY/s320/Karl.jpg" width="190" border="0" /></span></a><span style="font-family:courier new;"><br />1.<b>Karl Lagerfeld.</b>I have spent the last few months slowly eliminating colour from my wardrobe, and it was the best decision I ever made. Nothing says “I used to be slightly rotund and now I’m thin and severe and maybe just that little bit too resentful about my flabby past” like an entirely black and white ensemble. This statement may be just as true of myself as it is of Lagerfeld – frankly, you’ll never know – but his predictably smart silhouette has made a definate impact on my taste. Most notably he has taken Coco Chanel’s foolproof formula of a black dress and a mountain of costume jewellery to another slightly bonkers level by adding skulls, crosses and – Lord love him – enough plastic surgery to make him look stuffed. I might refrain from channelling his chin.<br /></span><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RlxNb1FbR_I/AAAAAAAAADI/cU0sr7Ek7rE/s1600-h/Shrimp.jpg"><span style="font-family:courier new;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070012421013981170" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" height="302" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RlxNb1FbR_I/AAAAAAAAADI/cU0sr7Ek7rE/s320/Shrimp.jpg" width="217" border="0" /></span></a><span style="font-family:courier new;"><br />2.<b>Jean Shrimpton</b>. Less boyish and plain than Twiggy and less petulant than Edie Sedgwick, Jean Shrimpton lent a shabby air to her waifish frame with too-large sweatshirts and trenchcoats held tightly closed with tiny wrists. Her heavy, eye-skimming fringe and long hair often look as though they have been artfully tousled by a fairly tame and uneventful roll in the hay. At this point I am so desperate for my hair to grow out of its passé Mary Quant bob that I have googled “make hair grow faster” more than once in the past week. Shame on me.<br /><br />3.<b>Andy Warhol</b>. The little albino homo that could, Warhol’s signature style of striped t-shirts, dark glasses and leather jacket looks good on almost anyone, and being deathly pale myself I have no choice but to follow his lead. Warhol was something of a foot-fetishist and kept many worn-out pairs of his own shoes, s</span><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RlxNs1FbSAI/AAAAAAAAADQ/ws9zPTfzeK8/s1600-h/Warhol.jpg"><span style="font-family:courier new;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070012713071757314" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" height="282" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RlxNs1FbSAI/AAAAAAAAADQ/ws9zPTfzeK8/s320/Warhol.jpg" width="220" border="0" /></span></a><span style="font-family:courier new;">ome of which were drizzled with paint from his iconic portraits. I would love to have some Jackson-Pollack style shoes, but despite being at art school I am a terrible painter, and would rather not spatter them on purpose for fear of looking like an affected twat.<br /><br />4.<b>Brigitte Bardot</b>. A woman with all of the sex appeal Jean Shrimpton lacks, I find her signature makeup – the bubblegum lips and heavy, feline eyeliner – the easiest way to turn from scabby to glamorous, or at the very least halfway between the two. Her style of dress was typically French – stripe</span><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RlxN6lFbSBI/AAAAAAAAADY/XpJLcFNFRHY/s1600-h/Bardot.jpg"><span style="font-family:courier new;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070012949294958610" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" height="271" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RlxN6lFbSBI/AAAAAAAAADY/XpJLcFNFRHY/s320/Bardot.jpg" width="198" border="0" /></span></a><span style="font-family:courier new;">s, capris, loafers and the ubiquitous fag – but she knew how to make it appear feminine and give it va-va-voom in the way that only a true sex icon can. One of the reasons I chose to put her here is that she taught me that having slightly goofy front teeth can be extremely sexy. Of course, it helps that not many of us can fill out a boat-neck sweater like Bardot (without the help of a very good bra, some very good knickers, or both at the same time and a great deal of vision).<br /><br />I could go on and on, but I’m sure you’d rather look at the pictures. To recap, you have learnt that I may or may not have been a chubby child, that I have goofy front teeth, that I am incredibly pale and that I can’t paint. Brilliant. </span><div><div><div><span style="font-family:courier new;"></span> </div><div><span style="font-family:courier new;"></span> </div><div><span style="font-family:courier new;"><i><b>Images:</b>The many faces of Karl Lagerfeld; The Shrimp; Andy Warhol's "Style"; The "Bardot neck" 's namesake.</i></span></div></div></div>Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-79200786203313414042007-05-25T10:10:00.000-07:002007-05-25T11:06:12.931-07:00RULES FOR HOT WEATHER.<span style="font-family:courier new;"><b>(OKAY, so we fucked up again with the posting. It's by Molly, not Lola, blah blah blah. We're not Bill Gates, and we're still not totally great with this "blogging" thing.)</b><br /><br />1. The minimum amount of clothes in not necessarily the coolest option. Cropped tops and hotpants look awful, unless the hotpants are highwaisted or teamed with some kind of cute ruffly chloe inspired muslin-y shirt.<br /><br />2. Since when did it become okay for men to roll up their jeans to make little capri pants? This is only okay if you are channeling robinson crusoe for some kind of purpose that i can't really imagine right now, or if your jeans are drainpipes and you have curly hair. I don't know why the curls help but they really do.<br /><br />3. Though i have seen it on every girl with a semblance of style recently, you can never go wrong with a little floral dress and a cardigan. It is the sort of outfit which impresses your boyfriend's parents, but also looks good for evening in an "I have just thrown this old thing on but i work it, don't you think?" way. N.B. if your floral dress is from Kate Moss for topshop, be more careful. The fit on the chest is seriously not right.<br /><br />4. If you sweat, don't wear grey marl. This applies to both sexes.<br /><br />5. Swimsuits are for the beach! I get people wandering into the shop i work at in bournemouth in just bikinis and no shoes. That isn't okay.</span>Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-53871675384653947552007-05-21T05:44:00.000-07:002007-05-21T06:05:38.757-07:00I LOVE CAPSLOCK AND REFUSE TO STOP USING IT<div><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RlGVwVFbR8I/AAAAAAAAACw/QuOE6joObx0/s1600-h/Male+perfection.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5066995713294682050" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RlGVwVFbR8I/AAAAAAAAACw/QuOE6joObx0/s320/Male+perfection.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:courier new;">The other day, Molly and I were shocked to discover that we had the odd male reader (just the one, and very odd he is too). This concerned us, as we agreed that we know little or nothing about men's fashion. However, it didn't take long to remember that a lack of knowledge has never stopped us before, and so with that in mind, a list:</span></div><br /><br /><div><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">1. <strong>Rolled-up shirtsleeves are one of the sexiest things around.</strong> I don’t know why, but this is undoubtedly true. I asked Molly what kind of Freudian reasons she thought were behind this, and she said “Because it reminds us how close we have come to seeing a short-sleeved shirt, but then the sleeve is just playing with us and we’re totes relieved that it didn’t actually happen”. </span></div><br /><br /><div><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">2. <b>Women will always remember a man’s shoes.</b> I remember which shoes every man I have ever been attracted to was wearing when I met him, from brogues to jackboots. A friend wore some Oxfords to a party at the weekend and every girl there was fawning over his footwear. Unfortunately he went home alone, but I didn’t say the shoes were bleeding miracle workers.</span></div><br /><br /><div><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">3. <b>It’s okay for a heterosexual man to have “a look”.</b> In fact, it’s preferable, unless their look is, say, inspired by P fucking Diddy; it allows them to give off a more coherent vibe, which in turn allows everyone to decide things about them at a distance of 30 paces. This can be a bad thing, in the case of a friend who mournfully suggested that his new look was “Anything quirky that makes me look less gay”. Other “looks” suggested by men in recent weeks run the gamut from “Inspired by Henry from <em>Ugly Betty” to “Eastern Block chic, with a bit of sex thrown in”.</em></span></div><br /><br /><div><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;"><em>4. </em><b>Never cuff your trousers, but roll them up now and again</b>. I’m aware that I’m giving the impression that I have a rolling fetish in this list, but if the trousers are light – painters’ trousers for example – stopping the hemline just above the shoe can look fashionable in that Bobo (<em>Bourgeois Bohemian</em>, according to the fash fucks) sort of way. Hairy ankles on display, however, are verboten<em>.</em></span></div><br /><br /><div><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;"><em>5. <b>Carrying a bag is difficult territory.</b></em> I’m aware that the phrase “Man bag” has been bandied around a lot in recent months, but Molly and I are not convinced. I have include this picture from the Sartorialist to illustrate that you can carry a bag and still make us swoon, but know that it’s only because you appeal to our nerd-loving side and we imagine you are sensitive and vulnerable and need someone willing to make you a packed lunch in the morning after a heady night of geek loving. Or something.</span></div><br /><br /><div><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RlGY5VFbR9I/AAAAAAAAAC4/v7o9viWmgYM/s1600-h/Facehunter.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5066999166448388050" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RlGY5VFbR9I/AAAAAAAAAC4/v7o9viWmgYM/s320/Facehunter.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;"><em>6.</em> <b>White Heat? Couldn’t give a fuck</b>. Stop dressing like Razorlight. Johnny Borrel is a twat.</span></div><br /><br /><div><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">7. <b>Few men should need expensive visits to the hairdresser</b> A little hairspray and the odd fringe is okay. Any bleaching, spikes or highlights and you might as well slap on a striped shirt and belch sweet-nothings in a few female ears. Please note also that if a man has a fake tan, he is one step away from wearing foundation. Which is okay if you’re effeminate, but not if you’re into screaming at the football and grabbing women’s arses.</span></div><br /><br /><div><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;"><em>8.</em> <b>T-shirt sleeves are so passé.</b> Unless it’s that ultra-thin tri-blend fabric (Thankyou, American Apparel), they often hang awkwardly, as cheap t-shirts are actually cut in a “T” shape. Roll them up or rip them off, just make sure they are disposed of. Most sensible men have learnt this by now, so all the saps whose sleeves hang like Jenna Jameson’s work tools have no excuse.</span></div><br /><br /><div><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;"><em>9.</em> <b>I have no idea what you’re meant to wear in the summer</b> but it can’t be shorts. I have never seen a man look good in shorts, Bermuda-length or otherwise. If you’re absolutely sweltering in full-length trousers, cut your fucking t-shirt sleeves off. That’s a bit better, isn’t it?</span></div><br /><br /><div><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">10. <b>Stop wearing patterned women’s hoodies from H&M.</b> Enough of that silliness now, I’ve seen you.</span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:courier new;"></span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:courier new;">11. <b>Geek Chic?</b>. Apparently looking "geeky" is in fashion now. The word "geek" was originally used to describe someone who bit the heads off live chickens in a freakshow. Just letting you know.</span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:courier new;"></span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:courier new;"></span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:courier new;"></span></div><br /><br /><div><em><span style="font-family:courier new;"><b>Image:</b> Just copy this if you've no imagination. From The Sartorialist; A shot from the Face Hunter of someone who's allowed to spend more than twelve quid at the hairdesser.</span></em></div></div>Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-30309332905492428192007-05-15T14:08:00.000-07:002007-05-17T11:35:07.311-07:00MORE EPIC THAN BEN HUR, AND TWICE AS LONG<span style="font-family:courier new;">In September I will be moving to Elephant and Castle; an area of London whose local shopping centre, according to the University of the Arts London brochure, is <i>“not often thought to be good for finding much other than a short stay in hospital after a violent mugging”</i>. It follows logically, then, that I had better set my wardrobe straight before I move (leaving appropriate<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RkooL7DIB0I/AAAAAAAAACM/ltLWLng-Xyo/s1600-h/Nico.jpg"><span style="font-family:courier new;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5064904916226017090" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 296px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 213px" height="211" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RkooL7DIB0I/AAAAAAAAACM/ltLWLng-Xyo/s320/Nico.jpg" width="253" border="0" /></span></a> space, of course, for any bomber jackets with the likeness of Tupac spray-painted on the back which I might later purchase from the local market). A selfish, navel-gazing list follows in which I decide ten things which I should get around to buying.<br /><br />1. <b>White jeans</b>: I avoided these while they were genuinely in fashion, quickly discovering that in a tight white trouser even my meagre form becomes something worthy of shouting “thunder-thighs” at in the street. However, as a devotee of wearing only black and white I feel it’s time to take the plunge. My favoured slim leg is a no-go area – instead I am prepared to settle for straight leg or (God forbid) the mumsy bootcut.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">2. <b>New thighs</b>: Only really necessary for the sake of #1. Must have a gap between them large enough to drive a train through.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">3. <b>A suit</b>: <i>”Nico was a Northern European Goddess. She was amazingly stylish; she would wear either a black or a white pant suit. Everybody thought she was just gorgeous” – Danny Fields</i>. Recent charges of racism notwithstanding, who doesn’t want to be Nico? </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">4.<b>Studded accessories</b>: Given that fashion has liberated the hideous nylon windbreaker and smiley face logo from the sad-sack 90s raver, I think it’s only fair to turn our attention to another marginalized group and make them unwittingly cool - goffick kids, God bless them, are more in fashion than they’ve ever been (Look at Giles’ S/S 07 collection). I’m sure if they knew they’d shout that they “didn’t ask to be born”, shortly before slamming their bedroom doors and blasting Cradle Of Filth at tooth-rattling volume, but as it stands, they don’t know fuck all. Besides, buying leather and vicious spikes from haute designers is the fashion equivalent of buying your S&M gear from Ann Summers; the cheap-and-threatening metalhead market-stall is a cheaper and more authentic option.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">5. <b>Plain cotton zip-up hoodies</b>: Speaking of liberating garments from the oppression of stereotype, I am a recent hoodie convert, and I am all about these at the moment. Anything that offers head coverage is a major plus when you have the kind of hair that explodes out like an afro wig with the slightest hint of damp. Please note: grey, black, white and navy are the only acceptable colours. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">6.<b>Statement jewellery</b>: I just bought a necklace from Wallis, of all places, which I can only assume is inspired by a Pucci neckpiece. Wearing it makes me feel slightly less boring for buying basic, monochrome items. See also: Huge, shoulder, nuzzling drop earrings a la Edie Sedgwick. Ironically the best place to buy these that I can name is a market stall in Elephant and Castle. Take a left at the man selling porn from the boot of his car. </span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">7.<b>Black jersey dresses</b>: American Apparel is my best bet, I suppose, provided I can work my way through the assault course of lame leggings, thong leotards and – <i>quelle horror</i> – lycra biker s<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RkoqkbDIB2I/AAAAAAAAACc/SxsG8h05XwI/s1600-h/leslie.jpg"></a>horts.<br /></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">8.<b>A long, loose black skirt</b>: I’ve mentioned this before on here, and I think it’s a dramatic look. Ashamed to say I recently admired this look on Mary Kate Olsen. Do as I say, not as I do.<br /></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">9.<b> A pale denim jacket with a hair metal back patch</b>: Ha! You think I'm shitting you, but you'll never know.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">10. <b>Paper-thin t-shirts:</b> I know everyone else is so over that shit (The (<i>yawn) </i>Row, anyone?), but the fact is, they work. Bonus points if you have neat, 70s groupie tits and can go without a bra. Who needs jewellery when you've got nipples? Presumably this is why Kate Moss' are visible from space.</span><br /><br /><br /><i><span style="font-family:courier new;"><b>Image: </b>Nico probably reading something horrible about black people and (allegedly) agreeing with it</span></i>Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-45886151447759812842007-05-14T09:54:00.000-07:002007-05-14T11:26:15.144-07:00Your Beauty Is A Knife<span style="font-family:courier new;"><b>Please note that due to a technical hitch this post is not, in fact, by Lola. It is by Molly. We're still figuring this joint posting thing out, alright?</b></span><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">Another list!<br /><br />1. Lola and Freddie are hosting a sixties night on friday, and what to wear is becoming an issue. I have the choice of two outfits or a combination of both, and the weather forecast tells me it is going to be nineteen degrees, so bear that in mind!<br /><br />First choice: a black boat necked shift with black leggings, pumps and a black cropped waistcoat over it.<br /><br />Second choice: black straight leg jeans, navy and white breton striped top, and black waistcoat and pumps.<br /><br />Third choice: breton top with shift layered over, leggings and pumps.<br /><br />Any preferences?<br /><br />2. I have a picture of a girl I cut out of a magazine months ago, and I have decided she is my fashion muse for the summer. She has a really blunt fringe, which I am going to get cut back in as soon as my bank account is is positive numbers again, and she has a pet mouse. I can't even explain how much I want a pet mouse.<br /><br />3. I had an argument with one of my closest friends at university over whether some zara flip flops covered in huge gems a la burberry prorsum worked or not. The crunch came over the tacky level of said gems, and I have to say I was firmly in the love rather than the hate camp. She still put me off them, though.<br /><br />I am afraid coursework is leading to minimal blogging from Molly, but I shall be back with a vengance shortly!</span>Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-43003473375883167152007-05-09T12:17:00.000-07:002007-05-09T12:33:31.857-07:00COMPUTER CAMP LOVE<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RkIfzLDIBzI/AAAAAAAAACE/CJvyRVXIr7w/s1600-h/Matching+couple.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5062643895117547314" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RkIfzLDIBzI/AAAAAAAAACE/CJvyRVXIr7w/s320/Matching+couple.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><span style="font-family:courier new;">Admittedly there are times when the boyfriend and I run the risk of dressing like a <i>his ‘n’ hers</i> couple. We own the same beige trench-coat. We take the same jean size and have been known to swap trousers. However, I’m aware that in a previous post I suggested that a well-dressed man is the best accessory, but I wasn’t intending the two of you to become Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Twat. A list follows:<br /><br /><u>Pros:</u><br />1. <b>People will assume that you’re having a lot of sex.</b>For some reason, being so visually in tune with your boyfriend or girlfriend suggests that you like to get freaky with them on an un-naturally regular basis. Maybe it’s because you’re so interchangeable.<br />2. <b>You are never embarrassed by what they’re wearing</b> because you’re wearing the same fucking thing. Saves you from those argument-fuelling little incidents where he looks as if he slept in his suit, or she’s wearing some ridiculous <i>fashion-forward</i> item like metallic leggings or a trapeze dress that you actually think looks “completely bollocks”.<br />3. <b>You can make twice the impact</b> when you walk into a room. Imagine the gasps of delight when you and your beloved both walk into Boombox doing a matching “Apocalyptic Pierrot” look or something equally as ravishing. Imagine the streetstyle bloggers fumbling for their Nikons.<br />4. <b>You have twice the trend-starting clout</b>. Again, only really applies in the incestuous world of nightclubs. By all means use your partner to try and popularise wearing an entire computer as a pendant or something. If I’m perfectly honest I’m grasping at straws here.<br /><br /><u>Cons:</u><br />1. <b>You look like siblings</b>. Like two children. With the same mother. A mother who dressed you alike. Remember that photo where you and your sister are wearing the same dungarees? You sick fuck.<br />2. <b>You will find yourself having to agree on a theme</b>. This could create any number of arguments, resulting in one partner sulking all night because they weren’t allowed to do “Riviera Chic” and have been bullied into channelling Mr Motivator instead.<br />3. <b>Generally, there is a reason clothes are gender specific</b>. Most women look short and dumpy in men’s clothes. In women’s clothes, most men look like prison-yard trannies.<br />4. <b>You will be laughed at</b>. Not that I’m saying a little tittering should put you off exercising your style mojo, but really, if people hate one partner’s outfit they are going to hate the other’s. Get it wrong, and it’s a double-whammy of tosser.<br />5. <b>You might be mistaken for your boyfriend or girlfriend from behind</b>. Not so embarrassing in a homosexual relationship, but in a straight one it smarts. You’d think it wouldn’t happen, but depressingly as a woman with a short, slight boyfriend who looks not unlike a young Syd Barrett I can admit that it has.<br /><br />I’m using the image from Vice magazine because although it was listed as a “Do” I think, quite frankly, it sits on the fence. I admire their gutsy stab at something approaching beatnik, but when I showed a friend he remarked sagely “Anyone looks cool if they’re thin and pretty. She, however, has a wide face and an ill-fitting dress and she’s trying to match her outdated boyfriend”. Might I advise not matching your partner, then, reader, so that at least you can prevent adding insult to injury by cutting the last of those snubs off the list.</span></div>Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-75163925469214793592007-05-08T10:34:00.000-07:002007-05-08T11:20:12.521-07:00MASTURBATING WITH A FASHION MAGAZINE<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RkC1KrDIBxI/AAAAAAAAAB0/nb_5gRQxT6A/s1600-h/List+3.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5062245176123590418" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RkC1KrDIBxI/AAAAAAAAAB0/nb_5gRQxT6A/s320/List+3.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">YET ANOTHER LIST BY LOLA, AGED 19 AND A BIT</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">1.I wish I could change my hairstyle as often as I change my clothes. Six months ago I went from tit-skimming waves to a Mary-Quant style bob which has been getting shorter ever since. Now I have decided that I want to grow it into some kind of Francoise-Hardy look again, like the beatnik from <i>Hairspray</i>. Never be afraid to change your cut; it’s all dead anyway, after all.<br /><br />2.I notice that two girls were recently pictured in the same Kate Moss dress on The Face Hunter, attending the same night at Boombox. Quelle embarrassment. We all knew it would happen.<br /><br />3.I can’t for the life of me remember if I’ve addressed the matter of turbans. I recently bought a gold one for a photo-shoot I was doing in a friend’s pool house, and let me be the first to inform you that having put it on out of sheer curiosity, “Prada” was not the first thing to spring to mind. Best left to the models, unless you have an absolutely divine face and fucking neat eyebrows.<br /><br />4.I recently re-watched <i>Breakfast At Tiffany’s</i> and it gave me a new appreciation for highlighted hair. I had completely forgotten that it could evoke something other than a young mum of three from Croyden.<br /><br />5.Jumble sales are losing the innocent bargain-hunting charm they once had. I recently attended one at an upmarket indie pub and everyone was quivering with terror at the prospect that someone might realise their clothes were not vintage but, in fact, high street with the labels cut out. I of course left all my labels in and someone complained about an item being from Primark. If you’re attending an event where you expect to get a garment for a few quid, no brand is too low for your attention. Also, if we're honest, <i>ma cherie</i>, not one of my cast-offs would have fitted you.<br /><br />6.We are fast approaching the time that Vogue, Harpers et al will be telling us exactly how to “Travel light” on our nonexistent trips to Ibiza and St Tropez. My advice? Pack little but lingerie, take a strapping partner and economise on wardrobe by spending most of your time in the hotel. Your tan might suffer but I can assure you that you’ll at least have something of a glow – colour in a bottle is infinitely safer, anyway.<br /><br />7.I have little or no interest in whether or not my mobile phone is by Prada, Dolce and Gabbana or The Carphone sodding Warehouse. It sends. It receives. I can speak into it. That should be enough for any woman.<br /><br />8.I think Patti Smith is incredibly glamorous in her own masculine way. I once saw a photograph of her standing in a subway with a prayer cloth draped nonchalantly over her shoulders and it reminded me of the appeal that shops that smelt of sandalwood and sold cheesecloth dresses had when I was about ten.<br /><br />9.Semi-sheer black tights with a reinforced toe. Suspend disbelief and reconsider t<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RkC8xbDIByI/AAAAAAAAAB8/xKb3rF7xBcA/s1600-h/Prince.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5062253538424915746" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 186px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 253px" height="251" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RkC8xbDIByI/AAAAAAAAAB8/xKb3rF7xBcA/s320/Prince.jpg" width="130" border="0" /></a>hat idea.<br /><br />10. Prince circa "Purple Rain". Fuck it, Prince anytime. I'm not even going to say anything else about him. I don't need to. If you can't tell that this is a praise rather than a critique, there is no hope for you.</span><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;"><br /><i><b>Images:</b> I place the two Kate girls side by side to further their embarrassment; Patti Smith makes man-hair and a headband look sexy; Francoise with the coveted fringe; </i></span><span style="font-family:Courier New;"><i>The purple sex dwarf.</i></span>Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-50045345174672535582007-05-08T09:02:00.000-07:002007-05-21T16:18:06.279-07:00A VERY SAD POST INDEED<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RkCgfbDIBwI/AAAAAAAAABo/fd0LDZedqKU/s1600-h/Isabella.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5062222442861692674" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RkCgfbDIBwI/AAAAAAAAABo/fd0LDZedqKU/s320/Isabella.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><span style="font-family:courier new;"><i>“[Style achieves] Sex. A husband. Admiration. Self-esteem. Confidence. Fun. You can have so much fun playing with bits of jewellery. It’s fun to look at someone looking good”</i> – Isabella Blow in <i>The Cheap Date Guide To Style</i></span></div><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;"><p><br />I think it’s only fair to post regarding the <a href="http://www.vogue.co.uk/vogue_daily/story/story.asp?stid=44637&date=&sid=">untimely death of a fashion icon</a>. Isabella Blow, who sadly died yesterday at the age of 48, had succeeded in turning herself into something akin to a graphic piece of fashion iconography, her retro maquillage and neat skirt suits as instantly recognisable as the flash of red on the sole of a Louboutin. Quite apart from her much-trumpeted eye for fashion discoveries, she knew the power of “actressing” as a way of dressing; she often chose her look by imagining that she was Wallis Simpson, the elegant woman who Prince Edward abdicated for in 1936. Also worthy of a mention is the fact that she was once photographed wearing a hat whch spelt out “BLOW” in flimsy white letters, which is sort of tenuously rude and yet appropriate and wonderful.</p><p><br />MOLLY & LOLA.<br /><br /></p><p><i><b>Images:</b> Isabella Blow - now visiting the great milliner in the sky; her beloved Wallis Simpson.</i></span></p>Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-88539940072705412442007-05-01T15:09:00.000-07:002007-05-08T09:01:12.578-07:00Kate Moss for Topshop<span style="font-family:courier new;"><object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xWK03mFtMh8"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xWK03mFtMh8" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object></span><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">So, launch day has rolled around already.<br /><br />The hoardes came, but weren't quite as huge as we had all led to expect. Kate made a brief appearance from behind some glass, and the label tells me i can expect "looks from future seasons". The label lies.<br /><br />I didn't brave oxford street this morning, but i did check out what my local store had to offer by way of miss moss's designs. What I found was a puny rail of exceedingly poorly cut clothes which looked like they were from three seasons ago. They included, I kid you not, a shimmery gold floor length skirt. I'll just allow that to sink in a moment.<br /><br />Admittedly, I did buy a black waistcoat and two vests, but the cut on the waistcoat is a bit odd and I got it out of desperate need for a masculine edge to the myriad dresses I have for summer.<br /><br />In conclusion, unless you are a fashion designer, your line for a high street shop is likely to be poor, because you will, as it looks like kate has done, look in your wardrobe one afternoon and think "this'll do", and then sketch it on the back of a napkin to give to phillip green.</span>molly birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490795494563333903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-76152968581892707022007-04-28T06:19:00.002-07:002007-05-07T13:49:11.974-07:00SLEEP WITH COMMON PEOPLE<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RjNhAbDIBtI/AAAAAAAAABQ/Bta7D_6layg/s1600-h/Pugh+Kane.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5058493466355959506" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/RjNhAbDIBtI/AAAAAAAAABQ/Bta7D_6layg/s320/Pugh+Kane.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div><span style="font-family:courier new;">Imagine my horror when a couple of days ago I found myself invited to a party with a 90s theme. </span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:courier new;">Quite honestly I can't think of a more abhorrent decade as far as fashion trends go - skirts over trousers, bumbags, rave, the ubiquitous scrunchie, the trend for wearing all-over-denim ushered in by B*Witched and the popularity of shellsuits. Britney "Hit Me Baby One More Time" Spears is currently a bloated, fag-toting mess, lightly powdered with a mixture of Cheeto dust and class As and weighing in, the cover of Heat magazine proclaims, at (<i>gasp!</i>)"over ten stone" - to me, this fall from grace is emblematic of what should have happened to the decade itself, but then what do I know? Try telling that, for instance, to Christopher Kane.<br /><br /></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Courier New;">Yes, Christopher Kane, the current darling of the British fashion industry and the man single-handedly responsible for suggestion that women mummify themselves in body-hugging neon bandages. Also responsible, in part, for the fact that Topshop - who carried his concession line a few months ago - now have a collection called "Pop", offering is fluro hotpants, white denim and t-shirts screaming "SAVE THE RAVE!". Incidentally I can't be the only one who noticed that when the sickeningly talented Gareth Pugh was the enfant terrible of London Fashion Week for all of twenty minutes we weren't subjected to an "S&M RULES OK" collage on Topshop.com full of leather, vinyl and, um, balloons (and more's the pity, because I would have bought five of everything). I can't also be alone in realising that your average women, when wrapped in a flourescent tourniquet which barely covers her arse, looks not unlike The Mummy Returns as re-envisaged by Flava Flav. I am willing to admit that last year I did visit Dover Street Market and buy a House Of Holland t-shirt - yes, before they appeared in Elle and that - if only to point out that I bought "UHU GARETH PUGH" rather than the bile-green "CUM AGAIN, CHRISTOPHER KANE" because yes, I was genuinely interested in giving a shoutout to "Gazza" and his balloon animal chic.<br /></span></div><span style="font-family:Courier New;"></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Courier New;">"A SARCASTIC THANKYOU FOR BRINGING NINETIES RAVE FASHION BACK INTO VOGUE AGAIN, CHRISTOPHER KANE."</span> <div><br /><br /> </div></div><div><div><i><span style="font-family:courier new;"><strong>Images:</strong> Neon arse from Christopher Kane; Pierrot nightmares from Gareth Pugh; The nudey photograph by Toyin has absolutely nothing to do with the matter at hand, but I thought we all needed to calm down. An exercise: imagine coming home to find this lanky streak of perfection crawling around in your sheets. Any anxieties about bumbags becoming en Vogue should melt away.</span></i></div></div><br /><span style="font-family:Courier New;"></span>Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-56698999294687533642007-04-25T12:58:00.000-07:002007-05-07T13:56:01.564-07:00Ug Bet<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/Rj-SXLDIBvI/AAAAAAAAABg/7NUqp91mwyQ/s1600-h/Betty.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5061925432988272370" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/Rj-SXLDIBvI/AAAAAAAAABg/7NUqp91mwyQ/s320/Betty.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><span style="font-family:courier new;">There are two things going against Betty Suarez as a fashion icon, as well as the fact that she doesn't really exist.<br /><br />Firstly, she is meant to be UGLY! Come on, it's in the title.<br /><br />And secondly, if she wasn't ugly, we wouldn't love her as much! But she HAS managed to channel some covetable and very 'this season' looks.<br /><br />1. <b>Untamed brows</b>. The catwalks were full of them! A warning on this one though; DO NOT STOP PLUCKING ALTOGETHER. YOU SHOULD STILL HAVE TWO DISTINCT EYEBROWS.<br /><br />2. <b>Plaid</b>. Betty wears lots, and it sure looks cute in a shirt.<br /><br />3. <b>Peter Pan collars</b>. These work on everyone, this is something even lola and me agree on.<br /><br />4. <b>Colour on colour</b>. I love this, and sometimes it looks better when it is ever so slightly 'off', colours which just might go.<br /><br />And you know, that puffy coat just might remind me of the Prada parka...</span></div>molly birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490795494563333903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-81035424974602343192007-04-24T16:30:00.000-07:002007-04-24T16:37:35.777-07:00I HIT HIM BACK WITH MY PET RAT<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/Ri6UnJL4tJI/AAAAAAAAAA8/wlbLyZhs86Q/s1600-h/List+of+10+1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5057142831785227410" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/Ri6UnJL4tJI/AAAAAAAAAA8/wlbLyZhs86Q/s320/List+of+10+1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>ANOTHER LIST BY LOLA, AGED 19 2/8<br /><br /><div><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">1. There is no better accessory than a well-dressed man; Anita Pallenberg knew this when she famously encouraged Keith Richards to wear her clothes. Whether or not you change him as often as you change your shoes is entirely up to you.<br /><br />2. Taking inspiration from non-fashion photographs puts an interesting spin on your style, whether it’s the way an elderly woman wears her headscarf in a Bruce Gilden snapshot or, in the case of the boyfriend, a tattoo of Lenin in a Russian documentary piece.Don't ask.<br /><br />3. Wearing black is more chic than ever in light of this shitty nu-rave revival. Imagine Karl Lagerfeld wearing Cassette Playa. Disgusting.<br /><br />4. Look at charity shop windows when you’re on the bus and you’re sure to spot the new love of your life. However, be warned – what might look like a dead ringer for a 2.55 when you’re moving past at 35 miles an hour might turn out to be a greying clutch from Mark One with a cigarette burn up close.<br /><br />5. Apparently deliberately messy hair, plaid shirts and grubby second-hand boots are now synonymous with teenagers whose parents have boats. I learnt this at art school. Whether or not you want to cultivate this image is entirely up to you.<br /><br />6. At some stage you will look at photographs of yourself as a child and think “I looked more stylish at ten than I do now”. Perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate the merits of matching your dungarees with your shoes.<br /><br />7. When buying mannish trousers, buy them two sizes too big and belt them tightly at the waist. It looks very Patti Smith meets lesbian from the 30s and yesterday the boyfriend dubbed it “Raunchy”.<br /><br />8. Cigarette holders are genuinely cool. Fuck off.<br /><br />9. Watch the film “Breathless” by Jean Luc Goddard. Jean Seberg’s delightfully short hair will make you reach for the clippers and you will never again underestimate the power of Breton stripes. That goes for men too.<br /><br />10. Those studded leather biker gloves with no fingers look fantastic with rolled-up sleeves. Stop laughing and fuck off to Camden market, I’m serious.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><i><b>Images:</b>Der Kaiser; Jean Seberg and her difficult crop; Corey Kennedy displays “I’m not moneyed, honest!” to a tee.</i></span></div></div>Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-54745605820512948742007-04-24T12:51:00.000-07:002007-04-24T13:40:41.128-07:00"I resent that being a jew is so hip now"<span style="font-family:courier new;">A list by molly.<br /><br />1. The bigger your bag, the thinner you look. I swear this works. A word of warning on this one though - since a whole winter of lugging around a holdall on my arm my back has a permanent lean to the left. This also works for long necklaces, but don't ask me how (slimming, not back pain inducing).<br /><br />2. Inspiration comes from odd places sometimes, but nu-ravers seem to have been looking at my twelve year old self. I wore cycling shorts. I think we both know that is all that needs to be said.<br /><br />3. I think that I say "Oh, isn't that HORRIBLE? I LOVE it!" too much.<br /><br />4. I really wish I could have been a beat poet, so I bought a breton striped t shirt.<br /><br />5. Kingston's second h&m store is opening shortly, since the other one became too full of M by madonna and fucking ugly printed hoodies. Report coming soon.<br /><br />6. Maxi dresses are unflattering unless you have completely evenly matched tits and hips. I don't.<br /><br /><br />"Don't call me whitney, bobby" by The Islands is all that is cheering me up right now. Oh, and talking to lola about our not-so-secret joy at patrick wolf quitting music. He was the <i>worst</i> culprit of leggings as trousers, and <i>he</i> had a penis, which we have all basically seen now. Wait a second while I just go and TEAR OUT MY RETINAS.</span>molly birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490795494563333903noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-91345742595190061342007-04-24T08:37:00.000-07:002007-04-24T08:43:55.199-07:00WE'RE PINHEADS ALL! JOCKO HOMO!<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/Ri4kVZL4tHI/AAAAAAAAAAs/i8vpo94u-2A/s1600-h/List+of+10+2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5057019381540238450" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/Ri4kVZL4tHI/AAAAAAAAAAs/i8vpo94u-2A/s320/List+of+10+2.jpg" border="0" /></a> A LIST BY LOLA, AGED 19 1/4 <div><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">1.Eye-patches are cool, in a sort of malevolent army officer way. Impractical, though, as unless you are actually visually impaired, they will gradually make you blind in one eye. Approach with caution. </span></div><div><span style="font-family:courier new;"><br /></div></span><div><span style="font-family:courier new;">2.Putting a cameo brooch on anything, even a hoodie, immediately makes it appear as though you have made an effort, partly because they’re so out of fashion. Bonus points if you have the ring to match.<br /><br />3.I started wearing footless tights as a half-arsed homage to Karen O in the first year of sixth form and, after cutting off feet left right and centre, going through my hosiery drawer of a morning is now incredibly frustrating. Learn from my mistakes and avoid them like the plague. </span></div><span style="font-family:courier new;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;"><div></div><div><br />4.I’m aware that it’s now cool to wear an entire games console as a necklace but please, resist the fucking temptation. Ditto Fisher Price toys, glitterballs or alarm clocks.<br /><br />5.Lou Reed’s Man in the song “Waiting For The Man” might not exactly be a steadying influence, butat least he knows how to dress – <i>“All dressed in black, PR shoes and a big straw hat”</i>.<br /><br />6.Tall, thin people look better in clothes. It’s depressing, yes, but let’s just admit that now. I have a friend who has done catwalk modelling and he makes a v-necked t-shirt and a hoodie look cutting edge. Best if the rest of us get out that cameo, then.<br /><br />7.Not all of us are blessed with cheekbones. Drag queens aren’t afraid to draw them on – don’t be afraid to follow suit.<br /><br />8.Men never wear long riding-style boots anymore, yet it’s possibly the single sexiest item of footwear at their disposal, because it makes us imagine them in nothing else; just because The Horrors advocate winkle-pickers doesn’t mean you have to have three-foot-long shoes.<br /><br />9.If you have a tiny pinhead and wear huge glasses, you do not look like Jackie Onassis. You look like a twat. Might I suggest aviators? Or a tall hairstyle?<br /><br />10.Wearing lenless glasses is only acceptable if you are channelling A) Mark Mothersbaugh from Devo or B) Jarvis Cocker. If you are channelling someone you saw on Dirtydirtydancing.com? As above, you look like a twat.<br /><br /><br /><i><b>Images:</b> Jackie O and her well-proportioned head; A good combination image for both footless tights and tall skinny people thrashing the rest of us at dressing; A juice carton on a fucking necklace, for Christ’s sake; James Joyce in an eyepatch <b>under his glasses</b>.</i></span></div>Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-42736728151105484752007-04-23T12:29:00.001-07:002007-04-24T11:13:52.430-07:00Leggingate<span style="font-family:courier new;">I am not one to bear a grudge. Well, I sort of am, especially when it comes to fashion mistakes or kissing someone else's boyfriend. BUT I do own more than three pairs of the offending items in this post, so bear with me.<br /><br />LEGGINGS AS TROUSERS. I'm sorry, but it isn't okay. I have seen one person to ever pull this look off, ONE, out of the WHOLE WORLD, but I don't want to see the outlines of anyone's girl parts! And don't you realise that anything stretch highlights cellulite?<br /><br />I really love the legging with dress thing, and in england a little bit of leg protection is always a plus, but seriously! They are not a stand alone garment!</span><span style="font-family:courier new;"><br /><br /></span><a href="http://tinypic.com" target="_blank"><span style="font-family:courier new;"><img alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic" src="http://i15.tinypic.com/332qt74.jpg" border="0" /></span></a><span style="font-family:courier new;"><br /><br />No way.</span>molly birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17490795494563333903noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3751215694574695126.post-11435503019088381902007-04-23T12:11:00.000-07:002007-04-23T12:15:09.073-07:00GROOVING ON DOWN IN A TRENCHOAT<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/Ri0FJpL4tEI/AAAAAAAAAAM/PqCvf52bYho/s1600-h/Trenchcoats.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5056703619839603778" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_odJPffmfQ68/Ri0FJpL4tEI/AAAAAAAAAAM/PqCvf52bYho/s320/Trenchcoats.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><span style="font-family:courier new;"><strong>What the bloody hell do you <i>mean</i> you don’t own a trench-coat?</strong><br /><br />Unless you were raised by wolves – and even in this case I am dubious, as there is no doubt that Mowgli knew what he was doing when he chose that rust coloured loincloth that so set off his dark hair and complexion – and have never read a fashion magazine, ever, you will know that the trench is so chic that it’s almost ridiculous. When flapping open it makes the wearer appear waiflike and nonchalant. When fastened – viola, a waist! The collar, turned up, puts one in mind of a spy, or a woman in Paris with a dark past who is possibly not wearing knickers. It has even been name-checked by Syd Barrett. I am a hardened trench wearer and have just ordered one in PVC, and at the risk of sounding belligerent I suggest you fuck off and do the same, even – no, especially – if you are male. It’s very <i>David-Bowie-in-Man-Who-Fell-To-Earth-meets-Vincent-Gallo-in-Purple-magazine</i> chic, innit? If you’re bored with wearing your bog-standard camel mac roll the sleeves up once or twice to show your wrists – if they are slender already they will appear practically cadaverous and people will be offering to hold your coffee cup out of fear for your general wellbeing.<br /><br /></span><i><b><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">Images:</span></b><span style="font-family:courier new;"> Francoise Hardy accessorises a trench with cheekbones you could slice a lemon on; Images by fashion photographer Wendy Bevan; Our namesake the inimitable Bowie turning up his collar for aforementioned “not wearing knickers” chic. </span></i></div>Lola Lisbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14855327102715230554noreply@blogger.com0