Thursday, 31 May 2007

LISTHAY LOHAN


1.One or two lucky men can go shirtless in the summer and look like a 70s rock icon holidaying in Marrakech. The rest of you will doubtless look like builders from Peckham.

2.Natural fibres for a bag are fantastic when you’re not really into chavvy Fendi knockoffs and you’re not exactly working on a Marc Jacobs budget. You can get a Hessian tote with leather handles for about five quid, and no-one is really sure whether you’re a wealthy minimalist or your sole income is five hours a week at Sainsburys and whatever your Nan sends in your birthday card.

3.I sincerely hope no-one is still shopping in the “Young Trend” section of H&M anymore, as the only “trend” I can discern is “things I bought in Tesco when I was eight”.

4.Do not be sucked in by a ridiculous, unwearable catwalk trend unless you are actually a model. The other day I caught myself looking thoughtfully at those pristine-white nursing clogs so favoured by the over-65s. Thankyou, Viktor and Rolf.

5.A sharp indigo is the only acceptable colour for blue jeans, unless they have a particularly 70s cut which lends itself to a faded wash. The bootcut is so unfashionable that someone needs to bring it back, as while with heels it looks a little “mum’s night out” it looks great forming a puddle of denim around a flat ballet pump. Personally, I’m not a blue jeans girl.

6.Glossy PVC – especially in a crinkled finish – is set to be everywhere when the weather gets colder, but wear it as a jacket or trench only for fear of looking like Trent sodding Reznor from Nine Inch Nails and suggesting to everyone who survived the 90s that you want to “fuck them like an animal”.

7.Large designer logos – preferably fake as a wedding cake – are the Lindsay Lohan of the accessory world, both stylish and fun in incredibly small doses because they’re so unashamedly trashy.

8.I wore white linen trousers last night in an attempt to get over my fear of the devil’s summer fabric, and my friend Gabriel chirruped “My mum has some of those”. Try not to be put off by such cutting remarks – if someone’s mother has something and you still think it’s relevant you can always bullshit your way into calling it a “classic”.

9.If you are bored with women’s high-street clothing, move onto menswear. Although normally I would be scathing about Topman, I have just discovered the delights of their button-up baseball t-shirt. Undone to reveal the collarbones and sheer enough to show the ghost of a bra or nipple, it looks terrific hanging off a manorexic frame or a slender female one alike.

10.Oh I don’t know. Handbags and that.


Images:Catwalk fashion that might look a wee bit silly in the supermarket; Lindsay Lohan –she actually does want to fuck you like an animal; Pharrell and some label-heavy Vuitton bags (I ran out of things to search on google image)

3 comments:

H said...

Totally agree about linen being the devil's fabric - I just wrote a post about it. Love your blog, one of my daily visits!

Mrs Fashion said...

Oh my goodness. You are my new favourite blog. How come I haven't discovered you before?!
Mrs F x

Kenny Surtani said...

Have you ever realized that when you buy readymade suits you get a choice of only a few colors & styles, also finding the perfect fit are quite difficult? Wouldn’t it be better to choose from over 2000 different British & Italian fabrics and get a tailor made suit at a similar price that you pay for readymade suits?

We are a company based in Hong Kong and have been providing custom made suits & shirts since 1997. With representatives in major cities around the globe we can arrange to show you the fabric samples and take your measurements, or you can also place your orders online with the help of our measuring guide. There are over 2000 fabrics to choose from along with all the latest styles.

All our suits and shirts are produced by highly skilled Shanghainese tailors in Hong Kong and delivered in about 4 weeks, express delivery can be made in 2 weeks at a minor extra cost. In case you are not able to find what you are looking for then please let us know your requirement may it be in words or by a photograph and we could arrange it for you.

We also have an outlet at the Hotel Intercontinental Budapest where you are most welcome to visit us. Though we are not located in streets like Savile Row (London), we have still been able to offer made to measure suits to many VIP’s from around the world.

Experience an easier way of shopping for bespoke suits & shirts at Euro Tailors

Kenny Surtani

Special Offers